Strong Feelings

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MG22
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Strong Feelings

Postby MG22 » Wed Jul 18, 2012 5:51 pm

Hi I'm happily married but there is a guy at work who is the same age as me whom I've fallen for. I can't stop thinking about him. I feel we both know we have a sexual tension but I want to know is this really there or is this just a fantasy.

mg22

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jazz
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Re: Strong Feelings

Postby jazz » Wed Jul 18, 2012 7:18 pm

Hi I'm happily married but there is a guy at work who is the same age as me whom I've fallen for. I can't stop thinking about him. I feel we both know we have a sexual tension but I want to know is this really there or is this just a fantasy.

mg22

Hi MG22 :)

If i was happily married, i wouldnt be worried about any other guy, or be thinking of any other guy, i would be thinking of how happily married i am :-\

Attractions are a normal part of our lives, it sounds like you maybe need to spice things up with your husband :) the one you are happily married to :x

Its not healthy to go beyond that, we all can go to fantasy land at some times, in our thoughts,but we need to return to reality when we are married why have hamburger mince when you have steak at home??

I would be careful that you dont confuse these feelings to be anything else but a normal attraction to another that we all have at times but get over and remind yourself the reality of going home to a good husband you are truly blessed if you can honestly say i am happily married. :ymhug: jazz.
I continue to do free of charge, a one question reading. For a more detailed paid reading you can, Send Private Message by clicking on my name.
Blessings jazz :)

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Chris Roubis
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Re: Strong Feelings

Postby Chris Roubis » Wed Jul 18, 2012 8:20 pm

well said Jazz

Much safer to get off watching porn on the internet until your hormones levels are back to normal, than jumping on someone else's bones for a quick fix. :ymdevil:

Like Jazz has said, since you have feelings for this guy, you cannot say you are happily married no more... do not kid yourself.

I do feel your hormones will rule you in this situation and you will fill out the fantasy, and things will be great till you get found out... the question is when.... be prepared to take responsibility when that happens.

I would suggest you end your marriage now, because it will end later down the track anyway, even if you don't do anything with this guy.
Rev. Chris Roubis
(main spirit guide) Chief White Eagle, (other guides) Chief Sitting Bull, Chief Oconostota, Chief Eagle Eyes, Chief Eagle Tomahawk. Chief White Tail. Chief Little Horn.
“It is no measure of mental health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” — Krishnamurti

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Truthseeker
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Re: Strong Feelings

Postby Truthseeker » Wed Jul 18, 2012 9:37 pm

Ok now it's time to add my bit...

When things like these happen with married people 9/10 it is because not all the emotional/physical needs are being met, then married couples feel like everything goes stale, they feel disappointed and they start to wonder what if, what if...... I could write a book about what expectations have fallen short for me and reasons as to why I have often had my own fair share of fantasies as a result of that. Many people would be judgemental of you but I understand these things mainly happen when people are unhappy so they seek solace elsewhere.

I do not think you are truly happily married because if you were you would not be tempted onto the other side. If all your needs were being met at home then you would have no reason to behave this way. So that is why I believe that you are not truly happily married. If there is no reason why you are behaving this way then I would have to say SNAP OUT OF IT and be happy for what you do have but I believe you are not happy with the marriage.

I also feel that you need to spend some time alone to try and sort out what's going on INSIDE OF YOU. What are you lacking within yourself or what is your partner lacking that this other guy has? Some things we just can't change with our partners and if something is really bothering you about him and he refuses to make important changes that have been the root of many problems then may be he is not the right one. Try to spend some time alone and look inside and ask yourself lots of questions and what it is you truly want or what is truly lacking for you to behave this way.

This is all coming from someone who is currently married but separated under the same roof as her partner, not an easy situation to be in but I am now spending ALONE time until I can sort myself out properly and in what direction I am meant to go. Like you I was tempted too, never had an affair but could have come close to it, and why?? cause I too was not getting my emotional/physical needs met simple as that. I will admit I'm a little ashamed to write about it but if it's going to help someone else to understand and to help someone realise why we behave like this then may be it should be written.

Hope it all goes well, keep us posted.
O:-)

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jazz
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Re: Strong Feelings

Postby jazz » Thu Jul 19, 2012 9:46 am

Hi I'm happily married but there is a guy at work who is the same age as me whom I've fallen for. I can't stop thinking about him. I feel we both know we have a sexual tension but I want to know is this really there or is this just a fantasy

.(If you feel as you have said "We have a sexual tension" then it is real, but you need to first ask yourself why am i feeling this way about another man if quote " I am happily married.??...so the next step is is be honest with yourself and your marriage is it a happy one? with some stagnation set in or the same routine day in day out that needs changing to be better ? and the attraction you have to this other guy is giving you what your marriage is lacking in the way of something new and exciting.that makes you feel alive again?...or is your marriage really in trouble?....You are the only one who knows the answer to that question, and you do need to be very honest to yourself and your partner when you are thinking about your marriage, you are in this together........this marriage will grow or grow apart and time will show to you if this marriage is going to be good for both of you or not.

As i have said we all have attractions and little flirts with people... .. if we are happily married with no big issues involved with our happiness and we are content in that marriage, it is just harmless fun it is honest, open and playful without any intensions of hurting anyone .......if we have problems in a marriage but say we are happily married then that is completly different, because we are looking for something to make us feel better about our situation and ourselves instead of facing what is wrong and communicating to our partner about making some changes to suit both if something is not happy or fulfilling for us.....this is where is get dangerous because if something is lacking with us and for us in our marriage and we want a hit of something exciting for us with another guy that we fall for and cant get out of our minds while we are happily married then we need to be very careful it is our choice to do that or not....

Everyone is different for me i couldnt stay in a marriage that was not happy, and pretend i was happy but go after other guys that i felt attracted to make me feel better, at the end of the day if i had chosen to do that, i would only have to go home to a husband i didnt love be abused , bring my children up in a bad violent home with a drunken father and i dont see the point or sense in doing that to myself or my children.

I have never been happily married with my two marriages it has been unhappy so i have done something about it i got divorced...... as soon as i knew i was in a bad unhappy, unhealthy ,unfullfilled, loveless, abusive marriage i got out, but that is because nothing could be salvaged from that marriage...the choice i made was my choice of getting out but not everyone does that is up to them.
I did envy some of my girlfriends that had decent blokes as husband and i would have loved to have had a man with their qualities in my life as my husband and a good father figure to my children, but that is as far as it went with me in that way,... i saw some nice guys around but i had two children to raise by myself and i had to get through a divorce before i could be single again and there is alot of emotional issues you do deal with when you go through divorce loads of crapp come up to the surface that you have to deal with i didnt even want a man in my life or even date for a long time after what i had experienced....everyone is different with what they experience in a marriage.

Feeling the way you do about this guy must tell you there is something missing and only you know what that is, if there are problems talk about them openly and honestly to your husband only you know if this marriage is a happy one for both of you and for your highest of good sometimes we just need to say i am not happy with this or that and it needs to change so both of us not just one of us is fulfilled and if that cant be put right to the point of no return then it is up to us as to what we want to do in that marriage if it is only happy for one and not both.




mg22

Hi MG22 :)

If i was happily married, i wouldnt be worried about any other guy, or be thinking of any other guy, i would be thinking of how happily married i am :-\

Attractions are a normal part of our lives, it sounds like you maybe need to spice things up with your husband :) the one you are happily married to :x

Its not healthy to go beyond that, we all can go to fantasy land at some times, in our thoughts,but we need to return to reality when we are married why have hamburger mince when you have steak at home??

I would be careful that you dont confuse these feelings to be anything else but a normal attraction to another that we all have at times but get over and remind yourself the reality of going home to a good husband you are truly blessed if you can honestly say i am happily married. :ymhug: jazz.
I continue to do free of charge, a one question reading. For a more detailed paid reading you can, Send Private Message by clicking on my name.
Blessings jazz :)


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