Hi I'm happily married but there is a guy at work who is the same age as me whom I've fallen for. I can't stop thinking about him. I feel we both know we have a sexual tension but I want to know is this really there or is this just a fantasy.
Hi I'm happily married but there is a guy at work who is the same age as me whom I've fallen for. I can't stop thinking about him. I feel we both know we have a sexual tension but I want to know is this really there or is this just a fantasy
.(If you feel as you have said "We have a sexual tension" then it is real, but you need to first ask yourself why am i feeling this way about another man if quote " I am happily married.??...so the next step is is be honest with yourself and your marriage is it a happy one? with some stagnation set in or the same routine day in day out that needs changing to be better ? and the attraction you have to this other guy is giving you what your marriage is lacking in the way of something new and exciting.that makes you feel alive again?...or is your marriage really in trouble?....You are the only one who knows the answer to that question, and you do need to be very honest to yourself and your partner when you are thinking about your marriage, you are in this together........this marriage will grow or grow apart and time will show to you if this marriage is going to be good for both of you or not.
As i have said we all have attractions and little flirts with people... .. if we are happily married with no big issues involved with our happiness and we are content in that marriage, it is just harmless fun it is honest, open and playful without any intensions of hurting anyone .......if we have problems in a marriage but say we are happily married then that is completly different, because we are looking for something to make us feel better about our situation and ourselves instead of facing what is wrong and communicating to our partner about making some changes to suit both if something is not happy or fulfilling for us.....this is where is get dangerous because if something is lacking with us and for us in our marriage and we want a hit of something exciting for us with another guy that we fall for and cant get out of our minds while we are happily married then we need to be very careful it is our choice to do that or not....
Everyone is different for me i couldnt stay in a marriage that was not happy, and pretend i was happy but go after other guys that i felt attracted to make me feel better, at the end of the day if i had chosen to do that, i would only have to go home to a husband i didnt love be abused , bring my children up in a bad violent home with a drunken father and i dont see the point or sense in doing that to myself or my children.
I have never been happily married with my two marriages it has been unhappy so i have done something about it i got divorced...... as soon as i knew i was in a bad unhappy, unhealthy ,unfullfilled, loveless, abusive marriage i got out, but that is because nothing could be salvaged from that marriage...the choice i made was my choice of getting out but not everyone does that is up to them.
I did envy some of my girlfriends that had decent blokes as husband and i would have loved to have had a man with their qualities in my life as my husband and a good father figure to my children, but that is as far as it went with me in that way,... i saw some nice guys around but i had two children to raise by myself and i had to get through a divorce before i could be single again and there is alot of emotional issues you do deal with when you go through divorce loads of crapp come up to the surface that you have to deal with i didnt even want a man in my life or even date for a long time after what i had experienced....everyone is different with what they experience in a marriage.
Feeling the way you do about this guy must tell you there is something missing and only you know what that is, if there are problems talk about them openly and honestly to your husband only you know if this marriage is a happy one for both of you and for your highest of good sometimes we just need to say i am not happy with this or that and it needs to change so both of us not just one of us is fulfilled and if that cant be put right to the point of no return then it is up to us as to what we want to do in that marriage if it is only happy for one and not both.
If i was happily married, i wouldnt be worried about any other guy, or be thinking of any other guy, i would be thinking of how happily married i am
Attractions are a normal part of our lives, it sounds like you maybe need to spice things up with your husband the one you are happily married to
Its not healthy to go beyond that, we all can go to fantasy land at some times, in our thoughts,but we need to return to reality when we are married why have hamburger mince when you have steak at home??
I would be careful that you dont confuse these feelings to be anything else but a normal attraction to another that we all have at times but get over and remind yourself the reality of going home to a good husband you are truly blessed if you can honestly say i am happily married. jazz.
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