Thank you for sharing your personal loss about your son, he sounds like he was really blessed to have you in his life when he was alive and now your blessed with him in spirit by your side, not in flesh but in spirit. Not everybody get the opportunity to be able to hear, or feel their loved ones once they have passed over. I know it's not the same as actually having them here in flesh but call me crazy sometimes things happen for reasons. When my oldest had his accident he was wheelchair bound and couldn't talk, walk or even roll over at night and we were told to say our goodbyes to him two or three times, but some how he survived, it was a true miracle and my youngest was saved, but my younger children at that tender time grieved not having their brother the same and not hearing him talk and yet he was right there beside them, I felt such guilt and had recurring nightmares seeing him at the scene of the accident like I let him down or failed, so I channeled that to push both him and I to get him to his best, but then last year he fell really sick with bacterial meningitis and was in hospital for 8 weeks which I could not bring myself to leave his side, my mother intuition kicked in and I prayed every night and just had a knowing and was one step ahead of the doctors, and then a miracle happened he woke up finally in week 6 and he was singing and talking I could not believe it, we had to relearn to walk again and now this year he is walking and talking and only needs his wheelchair sometimes
as for my pregnancy It's not that easy to rest especially pushing the my son in his wheelchair and doing school drop offs and pick ups, on Thursday I started spotting and then last night it got heavier pretty sure it's a miscarriage
I think it's a kind of blessing maybe as this was not a planned pregnancy, and I didn't know how I could juggle my oldests therapies, appointments and extra attention he needs everyday as that alone takes it out me. I was scared if my husband and i made the decision to Abbott my nan who's passed over wouldn't forgive me? But thankfully my body regonised the strain and made the choice it self, but in saying that I feel terrible, it's day three since I started spotting and my hormones have dropped and I feel empty and like I have the world on my shoulders, almost like I failed, I know deep in my heart it's not true, but I'm so tired and have bad cramps, I know your not a medical doctor, I'm just feeling low and any advice would be appreciated. PS I did find out it was only one I was carrying. And also I am off to the doctors tomorrow if still cramping for check up.